✘ Spent the first few hours of year with the boyfriend at Central Park, New York building snowman ☃ together, and the first few days of my year in the states and it still lingers in my head how amazing my trip was.

✘ Bought the most amount of cameras – Canon 60D, Olympus E-P3 and my L-CA+. Not regretting any of my buys though! ☺

✘ Flew over to Melbourne in August to celebrate the boyfriend’s 22nd birthday – had the most mind-blowing (and expensive) meal of my life at Vue de Monde, tried Tandem skydiving together with the boy, and went on a road trip to Tasmania. Australia’s just Beautiful.

✘ The boyfriend and I applied for our very first house, and got it at our very first try. Step one of building our future together as an adult.  Can’t wait to build our very humble cosy little home together in about 3-4 years time. ♥

✘ Having a much stronger relationship with Jon than before. Every year just gets more tricky, but we still got through it anyway. ☺

There really isn’t much that I am asking for in 2012, other than hoping that it really isn’t the end of the world and to really save up to build our future together. Hopefully managing to have a bit of extra cash and time to pamper myself on another amazing trip somewhere in the world. Let’s hope something in my life would take off in the brand new year. ☺

Happy New Year everybody! May we have a blasting good year ahead. x

Brothers

Home-made Dumplings

Breakfast for our precious

Eyes that sparkle

Weekends start only on Sundays for me, so Mondays are your sundays equivalent. Waking up to J’s baby eyes and adorable character of a kid can really be such a blessing. With him coming beside you whining like a baby, then snuggling his head into your arms, followed by him bringing a toy over and asking you to play with him. His innocent is so priceless, and it’s something that no one will probably ever understand with his ferocious looking black coat through the pictures. Home-made dumplings by auntie for breakfast, then it was beauty Monday for me going for IPL and facial sessions.

And while I had some time to spare (since I was early for my appointments) and a camera in my hand, I took on the routes that I never usually take and started snapping away through the alleys. And that’s also when I discovered this cute looking cafe called Talent Cafe by the corner of the beauty salon I frequent.

When you’ve started working, you’ll start to realize the beauty of having lazy days and quality me-time. I am quite glad I had almost the entire weekend to myself. ☺

Come up to meet ya, tell you I’m sorry
You don’t know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need ya
And tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, and nurse me your questions
Oh lets go back to the start
Running in circles, coming in tails
Heads on a science apart
Nobody said it was easy
It’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh it’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I’m going back to the start

Beautiful song and amazing lyrics.

Back to the start

Met up with my favourite boys (maybe I should call them guys right now) from poly tonight and caught up over dinner. Talked a lot, thought a lot. Then suddenly Jia Sheng said some along the line of me spending a lot (probably referring to my 60D, but I’m not too sure) and traveling a lot – in a rather positive way that is. And I just said “I’m easily the poorest Optometrist around, I’m sure!”

“But that beats having a lot of money and doing nothing with it. At least you’re doing what you like.”

Hell yeah, I am easily the poorest Optometrist around because, gosh, I spend so much of my money traveling and buying investing on my camera. But I just keep telling myself “do it while you’re young, while you’ve no commitments”. While that might be wrong to a certain extent, and I’m not too sure how long I should have this mentality with me,I feel rich. Rich in experiences and seeing the world, rich in self-fulfillment/contentment. (Haha, but poor in wealth.) Since I started my yearly travel habit with Jon from the age of 17, every single trip I went on was paid fully on my own through my part-time job (back then) and funded solely without my parents. Every time I go on a trip, I drain my bank account even till now. But when I look back at what I’ve seen, experienced and the fun I had, I was nothing less than satisfied. At least while I was having fun, I did not burden any one.

I’d definitely spend my money on traveling over designer items; I’d rather be telling my kids about how beautiful and amazing this world be, rather than to flaunt designer items to them which they probably don’t even understand as kids. Don’t get me wrong, I’d definitely splurge on them if I have the extra cash. But sadly, I just don’t.

Early twenties is the prime time of life. If not now, then when? I don’t want to be looking back in life and wished that I’ve done more when I was younger. At least till this point of time, I’ve enjoyed myself traveling, taking pictures and improving on it, searching for good food. I’ve found what I really enjoy in life.

Friendships. When you were younger, it feels to have a lot of friends like you’re popular. But as you get older, it’s the people that wants to stay beside you that counts. It’s just like how you’d get happy having hundreds of Friendster/Facebook friends back then, but now I’d start deleting people whom I am not in contact with at all in any way. I have a lot of friends, but only a handful I can count within my fingers that I really regard as important, and will keep them by my side till my hair turns white. Friends who constantly make an effort to meet you, friends who occasionally drop me a message to see how I am and initiating to update me on their life even though we’ve been busy with our own, friends who genuinely care even they haven’t met you in a while. Friends whom you know yours kids will be getting to meet, and probably playing with their kids too. Friends are the family you choose, and they are it.

Relationships. I’ve heard about/seen people coming together, got cheated, leaving, and hurt. People who keep telling me that they will be forever alone, but I really believe that they won’t because the right one just haven’t appeared. But every time, I always remind myself about how lucky and fortunate I am to have Jon with me through the past five years, and till now we still fight for us because we want to have each other by our side. We can be a very independent individual – which probably makes long distance relationship a lot more manageable despite occasional tough times – but at the same time very reliant on each other. Really can’t be more thankful to God for putting this really amazing man in my life. I must have done something very right in my past life.

If I were to be honest, I really wouldn’t mind quitting my job and learn to be a good housewife. I just want to make sure I know how to take good care of my family, which I am quite sure I am far from at this very point of time. I wouldn’t mind being a farmer. Not a very ambitious lady here I know, but perhaps that’s just me being myself.

Not quite sure if I can say that I love my job, but I haven’t got any major problems with it thus far, so no complains. Other than the fact that it tires me out quite a lot, I actually love what I am doing on my free days. I promise to try and lead a healthier and more fruitful lifestyle, and to change to be a better person as much as I can.

I don’t need a luxurious or an exciting life. I just want a simple and happy one. “It’s the simple life that’s hard to achieve.” Stacey’s definitely right.

People may disagree with whatever I’ve said, but that’s just how I think. Maybe one day when I read back whatever I’ve said here, I’d laugh at myself and eat back my words. But maybe, it’s just exactly what I want.

Probably the most random and lengthy entry I had in a while. Hitting the sack with loads of thoughts and reflections going on in my mind, then it’s time to wake up and start working hard when tomorrow starts. Goodnight.

Anyway, I’ve been trying to get inspriations of the different concepts on how I’d want my daily getaway to be like and it has always been my dream, even as a little girl, to have a beautiful home. ☺

I’d really like to think that simplicity works very well for me. Simple, warm, cosy and fuzzy. ♥

Warm and cosy lightings.

Would love to have this very much.

But this might be even better. Love it neat and tidy.

And this would actually be perfect. (But… impossible)

And if the houses in Singapore allows for such comfy toilets, I’d stay in there for hours.

I know this probably seems impossible in Singapore, but I’d really die to live in a house like this. I don’t even want a bungalow (for now). This is so beautiful.

Whichever it is, in 2015 I’ll be living in a space of our own. ♥

Sometimes things take a turn the way you don’t ever wish them to be, but it happened any way.

I wanted Forever, but that seems too much to ask for.

Some time this week, I went to The Chau’s with Jon’s Dad after a long and exhausting day at work. When I arrived, the boy was sitting in the living room watching tv (and that explains why he never replied my messages), and as usual I played with J for a little while before I headed to the boy’s room to put down my stuff.

Only to see that there’s was a stalk of rose, depicted as being hugged by the green bear, on the bed waiting for me. It wasn’t any special occasion, yet the boy just bought a stalk of rose for me as a pleasant surprise.

What’s there not to love about this guy? ✘♥✘♥

I get this every now and then, but I don’t seem to get answers that satisfy my questions.

People think I am settled in my life, but I don’t want to just settle. I want to fight for something. Something that is worthy for me to fight for. Something that I deserve to get. Maybe I should just leave my comfort zone and start everything over and figure out what I want.

Be strong. Don’t settle for something when you deserve much more. Be strong.

Chef’s Special: Chicken Cajun Cordon Bleu

Onion rings

Chunky Chicken Soup

Met up with my girlies after work today and it was really good. Dinner at The Handurger, followed by shopping and girly talks involving about our other halves, work and what not. What I love about being with this girls is that we always have in depth talks in the midst of all the jokes and laughter. Talks that got me thinking about the reality.

And at the end of the entire meet up, it got me thinking rather deeply – what have I achieved in life? I am not too sure what have I exactly achieved at the age of 21 (turning 22), and it almost feels like zilch. Not that the girls have brought me down, but I do feel very demoralized, and I felt too much like an underachiever in so many ways. (Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the entire meet up just that it got me thinking about what I want.)

I need to do/find more things to help me feel more fulfilled and accomplished.

More positive/happier things about the day: I came home to see my lovely boyfriend deep in his sleep on my bed, like a baby. Love is so beautiful.

Le boyfriend and I are on the bed together – with him studying and me doing some work on my Macbook. And there is J, lying at the foot of the bed keeping the both of us company while he takes his rest. The fact that we are both doing our own things, not taking, in each other’s presence. So simple and blissful. And that silly pup following me around the house the entire time, wanting me to play with him. He’s such a cutie I cannot resist.

Simple plaisir de la vie.

Cooked lunch, chilly weather, poolside lazing, sleeping off my afternoon away.

Rejuvenating sunday.

Spent the entire Sunday just the way I wanted. Slow and steady, just trying to recuperate from the lack of rest. Slept in a little longer, then Jon & I woke up to prepare our home cooked lunch together. I made spaghetti (with asparagus, mushrooms, prawns and sausage), while the boy had the urge to make bruschetta again. The puppy was being so curious that he went around sniffing everything that we were cooking. He is sucha sweetheart, and I am sure if the way I pamper J would determine the way I pamper my kids, they would be spoilt to death.

Went down to the poolside after the rain has stopped to just laze around with the company of my boy & iPod, relishing the free time on my Sunday afternoon. The boy took a dip in the jacuzzi while I just wanted to stay dry for the day. My stomach has been churning the entire day it was causing me quite a bit of discomfort, so I took a nap after taking some pills that Jon’s mom gave me to soothe my tummy that was probably too bloated with air.

Just the day before, Jon and his family attended his cousin’s wedding. The first couple to get married from his generation to get married (from the paternal side). He told me how everyone else started questioning him when will it be our turn to get married and they are expecting us to be the next. I don’t know why but I find it quite amazing why will people start asking him questions like these because we are only 22, and he has yet to finish his studies. Just today, Jon told me that when he and his Mom was on the way to the supermarket (while I was taking an afternoon nap at his place), his Mom told him about one of his maternal cousin applied for a house together with her boyfriend already and asked him when would the both of us would want to do that. Since we do not have to pay for anything at this point of time and all we need to do is probably to just show our certificate of marriage when the house is ready, why not?

Applying for a house right now might just be what the both of us would want to do if the terms & conditions by HDB is to our favour.

I love how the both of us take our future together so seriously. I’m amazed that a relationship that started out when we were 17 would bring us this far. ♥

But for those who took it seriously, and thinks that I may just be another dumb girl who wants her boyfriend to settle the tab during meals (or our anniversary for that matter), I won’t bother explaining because we both know how much I am forking out for the long term commitments we’ve both laid out for the next few years till Jon gets a job and I am not even complaining. If I say I am not pissed at the comments with people questioning me about “what’s wrong with going on dutch” and trying to teach me some morals (or whatever you call it) about what is right, I am lying. It annoyed me because these people don’t know us (Jon & I) – how we are like together, to disturb and bully each other – to even try to lecture and teach us. It wasn’t even serious to start with, and it becomes quite a joke to see people getting all serious about it. I really didn’t care if people wanna debate about gender equality using this, but if it gets personal then I am not gonna sit there and let you spill your words and letting them get by like this.

And I admit I feel terribly sorry when people commented that Jon’s dumb/unromantic/insensitive, because it is none of the above in the scenario mentioned. So for people who insulted my boyfriend, please eat back your words. He is more generous with his love than you can have ever imagined. It’s funny how hardly anyone says how sweet he is when he does, but when something so casual that we said could deem him like this and me as - probably – materialistic.

I don’t need and won’t bother to try changing your impression of me/my boyfriend, because we’re nothing like you think and I can just say it is shallow. People are just blind this way.

P.S: If this offended you, I am sorry but it pissed me off when I as read through (again) the words that people said.
P.P.S: I may not be a smart person, but I definitely know how to be a right person.
P.P.P.S: Comments off because I don’t want more unnecessary lectures, and I seriously don’t want to explain any further.
P.P.P.P.S:  Let me see if I’d delete this entry tmr morning and see if this entire chunk was written out of anger and shan’t appear on the surface ever.

A lazy Monday: Lunch with Soulmate, followed by $15 (promotional) face spa together at Sanctuary Beauty. Love the steam bath session together where we had some girly heart to heart talk in the midst of detoxing. Good facial services despite it being only at $15 and the skincare addict, as usual, decided to sign on a package with this beauty salon since it’s cheaper than the one I currently frequent anyway. Only with more services offered. Dinner with Matt after so long, and it was just good catching up on each other’s lives over a meal and some desserts. Bickered with Jon, and a few hours later we are back at where we were without doing much. A matured relationship gets rather amazing. Back home early and I packed my desk.

A lazy Monday. Glorious lazy day.

Woke up feeling like someone I never knew. It felt strong, but I didn’t like it. Went through the day like nothing could tear me down, but it was empty. The feeling of just getting through the day without anything. Literally nothing, and only emptiness exist. It was as though I wasn’t worthy of any good, or even I deserve anything because I can’t seem to give my best or at least the best to what people may wish. Like there was nothing for me to look forward to. I had nothing.

I’ve tried learning how to let go of things that hurts me, but somehow I gave it a way to get back and kill me. When I think of how upset it makes me, it hurts. Then I realised that it didn’t hurt that bad anymore. It was like my heart lost has already lost its ability to break.

I’d rather wake up feeling weak, and knowing that there’s someone out there that will do all it takes to fight for me. And makes me feel that I am worth fighting for.

I just need something comforting to bring me back to where I was. The feeling of being lost just kills me.