29th November 2016, 22.30pm
“I still remember the first day we brought you back home, you sat on your brother’s lap at front seat (shaking) because it was your first car ride; that cheeky little rascal in you kept jumping out of your cage when you were being trained for the first week at your new home; how you played hide & seek, and shared a bed with me when I stayed over. It’s funny how that little scar on your snout was caused by a little dog, because you are so big! It’s so hard for anyone not to love you, because you are such a sweet little gentle giant.
I held you so close, probably tighter than ever, as they put you down to sleep. I felt your breathing and pulse slow down as you laid in my arms, until everything came to a complete stop. Tears couldn’t stop flowing down. Jon & I had always imagined how Tyler and you would team up to wreak havoc when he gets a little older, but cancer just had to take you (and our dream) away from us so abruptly and prematurely. It was so painful to go through this very moment, but it was so heartbreaking to looking at how you were limping around as though you had a broken leg, but dealt with it like a tough boy (just like your brother) without letting out a single cry despite of the pain that you are going through.
Tonight, our family lost a member. One that would make a much better teacher than what Jon & I could possibly be to teach Tyler what unconditional love is. I hope that the other end of the rainbow is a beautiful place like what they have described it to be, because that’s exactly where you deserve to be. I love you so much — so, so much — J. I hope one day, we will get to meet again.”
Earlier this afternoon, Jon & I joined his family at Tengoku Pet Cremation to prepare for J’s cremation. The moment the door opened, my tears couldn’t stop flowing down my face seeing my best furkid laying so cold and motionless. He laid there, as handsome as he had always been.
It was so heartbreaking when he was pushed into the crematory, looking at his furry tail sticking out of the white sheet that he was covered in — there wasn’t even any way I could describe the pain except the tears. J has taught me so much over the last six years we spent together, and it’s just so unfortunate that he had to leave us way before his time.
It has been 24 hours since he has been put to sleep, and it isn’t any easier going through the photos I had taken of him over the years because the tears are still flowing.
I’d love to know how you’re doing on the other end of the rainbow. You’ve left, but your spirit always live within me. I am tucking myself and my family under the sheets tonight with a heavy heart. Goodnight my loves. Goodnight J. I love you, always.